İtiraflar: Ostia Görüntüsü

As the day approached on which she was to depart this life (which day You knew, but we did not), it fell out—by Your secret arrangement, as I believe—that she and I stood alone, leaning in a certain window from which the garden of the house we occupied at Ostia could be seen. There, removed from the crowd, we were resting after the fatigues of a long journey to prepare for our voyage. We were conversing alone very pleasantly; and, "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before," we were seeking between ourselves, in the presence of the Truth which You are, the nature of the eternal life of the saints—which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has entered into the heart of man. But we opened wide the mouth of our heart, longing for those supernal streams of Your fountain, "the fountain of life," which is "with You," that being sprinkled with it according to our capacity, we might in some measure contemplate so high a mystery. And when our conversation had arrived at that point, that the very highest pleasure of the carnal senses, and that in the very brightest material light, seemed by reason of the sweetness of that life not only not worthy of comparison, but not even of mention, we, lifting ourselves with a more ardent affection towards the Selfsame, did gradually pass through all corporeal things, and even the heaven itself, whence sun, and moon, and stars shine upon the earth; yea, we soared higher yet by inward musing, and discoursing, and admiring Your works; and we came to our own minds, and went beyond them, that we might advance as high as that region of unfailing plenty, where You feed Israel for ever with the food of truth, and where life is that Wisdom by whom all these things are made, both which have been, and which are to come; and she is not made, but is as she has been, and so shall ever be; yea, rather, to have been, and to be hereafter, are not in her, but only to be, seeing she is eternal, for to have been and to be hereafter are not eternal. And while we were thus speaking, and straining after her, we slightly touched her with the whole effort of our heart; and we sighed, and there left bound the first-fruits of the Spirit; and returned to the noise of our own mouth, where the word uttered has both beginning and end. And what is like Your Word, our Lord, who remains in Himself without becoming old, and makes all things new?